Personal Acceptance

I am not in control of whether or not my church will accept other groups of people or other churches of different Christian faith expressions. I am also not in control of whether or not my church collectively accepts every individual. I am, however, in control of whether or not I personally accept another human being. And ultimately, it is this choice, the choice of personal acceptance without restrictions or requirements made by each individual in the Body of Christ that leads to collective acceptance of other groups and collective acceptance of individuals. It is wise to understand that energy spent trying to change others is not as productive as energy spent trying to change yourself. So be wise and be changed.
Richard Foster writes, “Anybody who has once been horrified by the dreadfulness of his own sin that nailed Jesus to the Cross will no longer be horrified by even the rankest sins of a brother.” Do you want to be more accepting of others? What if I were to ask if you want to be more accepting of others not like you? Let me take it a step further. Do you want to be accepting of others who behave badly, dress differently, smell differently or believe differently? What Richard Foster presents to us is not simply just a choice. It is not a matter of deciding one way or the other. It is very easy to say “yes” to any of the questions that have just been posed. However, go back to the beginning of this paragraph and read the quote again. There are a number of questions to ask of one’s self in response to Foster’s statement.
Am I horrified by others’ sins? Am I horrified by others’ sins that are egregious and appalling, such as child molestation, rape, murder, elder abuse, the rankest of sins? Let us undress the statement further. Can someone be horrified, appalled at the condition of sin without transferring the horrified feelings to the person with the condition? The answer to this question is at the very heart, the absolute core of personal acceptance. At the point when I fully recognize my own condition of sin and see the horror and repulsiveness of my own condition, and in that recognition accept God’s grace for me in that terrible condition, is the same point at which I can truly, unconditionally accept another, no matter the repulsiveness of their own sin condition. The ramifications of this idea of personal acceptance of anyone are very far reaching. So far, in fact, that God’s grace has been extended to the murderers, the rapists, the child molesters, the rankest of sinners and that grace extends through our hands. Our own hands of personal acceptance communicate grace and forgiveness to even the most hardened and defiled among us.
It would be wise to include the boundaries of personal acceptance when dealing with such a radical notion as grace. Even God’s grace includes boundaries that are in place for the benefit of the recipient. God disciplines those he loves and allows trials in our lives as a work of grace to us. It is in this discipline and in the trials that we find these boundaries. When we do wrong it is right to be corrected, to be disciplined. When we make bad decisions, whether they stem from sin or folly, or life simply deals us a bad turn, the trials we face produce godly characteristics in us that we need in order to sustain us and strengthen our faith. If this is God’s grace to us, then we, likewise, extend these graces of correction, discipline, and the working out of trials to each other. God never rejects us when we stumble, when we fall or fail. His acceptance remains steadfast. To extend this same attitude to our brothers and sisters, to the human family, is godly personal acceptance.
In practical terms, this personal acceptance means I have a twofold responsibility. On the one hand, I am to extend an unconditional attitude of acceptance to anyone, regardless of their sin condition, no matter how terrible. On the other hand, I am also responsible to maintain that acceptance while administering corrective discipline and allowing natural consequences to run their course. To the rapist, I make myself available for friendship and am responsible to treat him and behave toward him in a manner of full acceptance and grace. Yet, at the same time, I am also responsible to support the rule of justice upholding the legal penalty for the crime of rape as well as supporting appropriate discipline of such behavior whether through therapeutic treatment and/or societal restrictions on his freedom. This is the tension that is constantly observed in true personal acceptance without condition. It is a tension that we will all wrestle with until the day we are made perfect in and through the Son, Jesus Christ. The expectation, however, is to continue to wrestle with it. Continue to give yourself to unconditional acceptance and allow God’s grace to flow freely through you.
There is also one more reason why it is asked of you to take on this attitude of personal acceptance. Even though we are terribly marred by sin, we are disfigured and ravaged by this condition, we remain the only part of creation with the stamp of God upon us. It is in His image that we have been created and it is His resemblance that we bear. “Next to the Blessed Sacrament itself, your neighbour is the holiest object presented to your senses. If he is your Christian neighbour, he is holy in almost the same way, for in him also Christ vere latitat – the glorifier and the glorified, Glory Himself, is truly hidden.” (C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory) In a more real sense than we would like to imagine, when we reject each other we are rejecting the very God in whose image we have been made. It is, therefore, imperative that each of us grasps the power of the truth of who we are and who everyone else around us is. Personal acceptance is much more than a political catchphrase and it is much more than just a good idea for world peace. Extending unconditional acceptance is the only way many will ever experience God, because it was His unconditional acceptance of us that places us in His favor forever.
Acceptance begets healthy community. This community-building kind of acceptance includes collective acceptance between people groups, collective acceptance of an individual by a people group, and personal acceptance of an individual by an individual. Each level builds upon the others and supports an environment conducive to God’s presence and blessing.

Gabe Lett
Excerpt from Let’s Get Together: Building Community in the Church (2008, Tate Publishing) Chapter 8